Interpersonal Communication Issue

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Dear Prof. Blackstone and classmates,

In this blog post, I will be sharing about my experience on an interpersonal communication issue I faced while working in a spa back in 2016. This issue involved my supervisor back then who I shall address as Ms. D and myself.

It was only my first week at the spa as an intern and I was already asked to use the booking system after an intensive training. The spa was already lacking manpower and it was a busy season.  Additionally, I had no prior experience dealing with spa operations or let alone any hotel job experiences. Ms D was a supervisor who had extremely high expectations of all the employees in the spa and a “non-nonsense” person. As I was a newcomer, she paid no attention to me or the other intern leading to us being pretty guarded when she was around.

On this particular day, the spa was extremely busy with limited time slots and one of the therapists had to go for a later break at 8pm when the usual break time is before 7pm. The therapist approached the reception desk where only Ms. D and I were at and asked me if it was possible to push her break forward as she was hungry and tired. I told her that I’ll see what I could do and moved her guest to another therapist. After the therapist left, Ms. D yelled across the desk “Who gave you the permission to move? Just because she tired you do not move. I don’t want to see this kind of shit anymore!!”.

I was so shocked that a supervisor just yelled across the spa reception at me and since I was only a newbie, I didn’t know how to react. 


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I was so frustrated I just walked off quietly to the toilet and broke down as I had no control over the situation. The issue was eventually resolved but what could I have done instead of crying or done to perhaps prevent this situation?

Thank You!

Swathi Ramesh



Posts commented on:
- Cheryl
- Sarah
- Syairah
- Afifah




Comments

  1. SyairahFebruary 20, 2019 at 6:03 AM

    Hi Swathi, thank you for sharing. If I were you, I would also comprehend to the therapist’s needs. I would feel pity for her and let her off for an early break. Furthermore, taking care of employee’s well-being is crucial in a company.

    However, I am still puzzled to as why your supervisor did not stop the therapist from going for an early break when she heard your conversation with the therapist at that point of time. Unless, she is frustrated that you did not seek advice from her first before giving permission to the therapist. Ultimately, she has the final decision and thus, I would inform her first before giving an answer to the therapist.

    If I were in your situation, I would apologize to my supervisor for not seeking her advice first and explain the rationale for letting the therapist off. I would also hear from her side, to understand why she was feeling unhappy. That way, we can both agree to why certain decisions has to be made that way and help you make better decisions in the future. Nevertheless, I am looking forward to finding out how the issue was resolved!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swathi RameshFebruary 23, 2019 at 9:21 AM

      Hi Syairah,

      Thank you for your comment. I agree that I should have apologized to Ms. D and proceed to explain to her on why I moved the therapist's break. The issue was actually resolved the following day.

      After the incident, Ms D went for her break and remained in the office. A senior in the spa approached me and told me she knew what happened and to not take it to heart. She also shared with me that Ms D had bad experiences with some therapists as they took advantage of the receptionists by regularly requesting to move the break hours. I then realized that I should have checked with Ms D if I should have proceeded to move the break hours as I was new and unsure of the operations.

      The following day when I went to work, Ms D spoke to me normally. I decided to apologize for not asking her before moving the break and she apologized for yelling at me the previous day. She mentioned that it was not her intention to put me down but to ensure that I learnt how to consult the seniors or herself before making such decisions as I was still new.

      After the incident, I ensured that I always asked when in doubt or when it came to matters that required a senior’s attention. Ms D and I got a long very well and it was her idea that I signed on full time. Sometimes not all bad encounters remain bitter and I am thankful for that.

      Delete
  2. sarahelmanFebruary 21, 2019 at 2:20 AM

    Dear Swathi,

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand that it must have been tough for you because it was your first time. Additionally, you might not be very used to the spa operating system yet. If I was in your position, I would also empathise with the therapist and would try to help her in any way I could.

    In my opinion, your intentions were good and just. However, being in a new working environment, it is important to also be aware of how they do certain things. For instance, you mentioned how Ms. D was a no-nonsense sort of character who did not take notice of newcomers. Thus, she is the decision maker in the spa. Therefore, if I was in your position, I would have consulted her first before going ahead with moving the timing of the therapist. I would apologise for not consulting her and assure her that it would not happen again.

    Nonetheless, I can understand that being a newbie in a new environment, it is difficult to gauge people and their working styles. I feel that you letting out your emotions in the bathroom is completely normal as I would have done the same. It is important that you also let things go and not be so hard on yourself after a bad incident. After all, we are always learning.

    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swathi RameshFebruary 23, 2019 at 9:21 AM

      Hi Sarah,

      Thank you for your comment. I agree that I should have consulted Ms. D with regards to the matter before making decisions on my own at that moment. I also realized how important it is to be in control during such situations and not break down. I have shared how the issue was resolved in the comment above. Do take a look.

      Delete
  3. CJFebruary 25, 2019 at 7:25 PM

    Hi Swathi,

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel like in this situation you should have told the therapist that you would get back to her and seek Ms. D's council first before making any changes to the therapist's schedule as you were new and this supervisor seems to run a tight ship. Do let us know what you did in the end!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swathi RameshFebruary 26, 2019 at 5:46 AM

      Hi Chris,

      Yes, I completely agree with what you mentioned. Especially being a new employee, I should have been more careful. I have shared about how the issue got resolved in the comment above. Please do take a look. Thank you :)

      Delete
  4. Zakiyah AbdullahFebruary 27, 2019 at 12:02 AM

    Hello Swathi!

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand how you feel when a supervisor raised their voice at you. I am someone who is sensitive and would definitely get affected in that situation. However, I think that if I were to be in your shoes, I would clarify with Ms. D regarding the request of an early break. Especially as an intern who just recently joined the company, I feel that it is important to be proactive and ask before making decisions.

    In my opinion, Ms. D should not have yelled at you as it unprofessional. However, as it is out of your control, if I were to be in your position, I would try my best to be professional, stay composed and apologize for my mistake.

    I understand that you are showing empathy to the other therapist and you had good intentions. It is common to have colleagues with different personality and working style. Thus, it is important to know how to tackle such diverse situation and personality. Anyway, did Ms. D apologized in the end?

    Looking forward to your reply

    Best Regards,
    Zakiyah

    ReplyDelete
  5. Swathi RameshFebruary 27, 2019 at 5:25 PM

    Hi Zakiyah,

    Thank you for your comment. I agree that as a newbie, the right thing to have done was consulting the supervisor in charge. Yes, she did apologize and things actually got a whole lot better. Do take a look at the comment above as I have shared about how this issue got resolved.

    Cheers,
    Swathi

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brad BlackstoneMarch 2, 2019 at 9:36 PM

    Dear Swathi,

    Thank you for sharing this rather startling problem situation. I can imagine that it was very hurtful for you to be scolded so soundly by Mrs. D. for actually showing your therapist some compassion.

    I see that you have gotten some useful feedback from your peers, though none of the feedback referenced specifically any of the conflict resolution frameworks that we discussed in class. I do know how the situation was resolved (from your comment to Syairah), but I'd like to suggest in retrospect that the 'recovery' in your relationship with Mrs. D. can be explained by the fact that each of you put aside issues of 'ego' and 'blame' and apologized to each other. That's a rather basic yet effective means of settling issues where people actually realize that they share some responsibility.

    I appreciate your effort in this task.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete

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